Sunday, September 21, 2008

cancer

I have a visceral reaction to bogus cures for legitimate diseases and so does the the Federal Trade Commission. They have decided that enough is enough when it comes to the proclamations that "Miracle Water CURES Cancer!" and have begun enforcing trade rules that require you put up or shut up. Action will be taken against eleven companies who sell products or systems that claim to cure cancer. That's right, CURE CANCER.

What kind of an idiot believes that vibrations in water or an ancient chinese herb can really cure them and who cares, fuck them, right? Well, to you I say don't be a cynical dick. Being diagnosed with cancer and having an experienced doctor provide tests that affirm the fact that you have cancer and then he says that as far as empirical science is concerned there are few options to treat cancer and no known cure, well that would drive me over the deep end. I would be willing to believe that a patchouli hippy or a failed sociopathic dentist had discovered something  that "the man" didn't want you to know about. I can see me megadosing vitamins, drinking my own urine or downing inedible herbs by the fistful. Add to that - no insurance - then the whole scenario makes even more sense. Its not morons who fall for this bullshit, its normal desperate people who just don't know any better.

As for these companies, draw your own conclusion. Anyone who claims to cure cancer - knowing that they can't cure cancer - and takes your money is either deluded (best case) or a total fucking slime. I imagine that they start out as "compliments" to treatment. Ancient Chinese herbs and magic water are little more than food and drink as far as efficacy is concerned but if the salad and cold drink make you feel better, what is the harm? The fact that it doesn't actually DO anything is overlooked and before you know it you drop the chemotherapy, which isn't as good as the salad, and go whole ass for the fake shit. The result is real death, financial ruin and the disgrace of having fallen for a scam.

I say Hooray for the FTC. Its about time that the focus fell on these leeches to our sick. We will never be rid of the carnival barkers hawking snake oil, be they clicks on a sponsored google ad or a yuppie dojo downtown where therapeutic rocks (?) on the spine ... cure ... something...