Veteran's Day - Fucking VETERAN'S DAY! 8:00pm... I heard my first Christmas song on the fucking radio.I hate Christmas. Really. I hate it. I've got no problem with Jesus H. Christ, but his fans are fucking annoying. Used to be they would have the decency to let Thanksgiving slide by before soiling society with long lines and Bruce Springsteen's "Santa Claus is coming to town." God I hate Springsteen.... but here we are, a full week before Thanksgiving! and the jubilee has already consumed every seasonal aisle and two Boston radio stations. Last year I left Christmas out of my tirade, because I wanted to be respectful, but N O T A N Y M O R E ! ! Fuck Christmas with a 12 inch candy cane.
I love Thanksgiving you know. Its the last true holiday. All you have to do is sit down and eat with your family. That's it. No gifts, no caroling, you don't even have to eat turkey (I have Salmon) and no more is expected of you. Very few people commit suicide because of Thanksgiving and if there are any problems its "who's going to clean up all this stuff?" Usually you can leave with the pie you brought because there are - like twelve of them - in addition to heaps of leftover bird. Best of all, you get to see the family in a no pressure atmosphere. Now Thanksgiving has been tainted by the grisly specter of Christmas. Stupid, fucking Christmas.
I could go off about the real Christmas being a pagan holiday, celebrating trees and life or whatever, but who really cares where it came from? It sucks. Every year it seems like it sucks a little more too. Last year, as I recall, there was some controversy because of a so named "War on Christmas" which spurned TV people to blather for and against endlessly, adding a whole new dimension of angst and unpleasantness to the holiday experience. This year I am seeing hints of that same controversy, despite being wholly a construction of media, it has weaseled its way into our collective unconscious and fragmented to accommodate jesus freaks who think Christmas is becoming to commercial and gaudy. Really, who the fuck cares?
The weirdest part of all this is Santa Claus. For generations children are told that he is a real person, that he lives in the North Pole with elves and reindeer, toiling endlessly over toys and organizing delivery to every single child in the world on one night a year. That night happens to be the birthday of the Vatican's boy Jesus, but officially one doesn't recognize the other. Lying to children baffles me. I don't see how it is necessary that Santa Claus be a real person and through this lie eschewing the credit for purchasing a shitload of toys for your child. People have to take out high interest loans to buy Barbie's and Pokemon cards, why give the credit to Santa? Even more odd is that I must be party to keeping this secret. If I told a child there is no Santa, even if they asked me for the truth, I would be ostracized and probably stoned to death.
Minimalism aside - Just fuck Christmas. It is too complicated, too indulgent and too stupid for me to deal with anymore.
